If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family
Stop reblogging my failure
a god complex is when youre so narcassistic that you feel invicible like normal laws of humanity dont apply to you, this is sometimes dangerous, like a loaded gun. therefore when someone feeds your ego they are cocking it and eventually you will pull the trigger and do something dangerous
a loaded god complex cock it and pull it
OH MY GOD THANK YOU
FINALLY THANK YOU
- i find it pretty fucking inconsiderate that my grandchildren haven’t used time travel to visit me.
- and frankly, i’m a bit offended.
- AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU GRANDCHILDREN?
- WELL FUCK YOU
- MAYBE I WON’T EVEN HAVE KIDS AND YOU WON’T EXIST
- HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT
what if we have tho
what if we just didn’t know they were our grandkids
what if your best friend has to constantly remind themselves not to call you grandma/grandpa
So I learned from my friend that coconut water can be used as an emergency blood transfusion, and of course my first thought was “So, can a vampire drink coconut water?”
and of course we had this idea of these tropical vampires being horrified when these old world vampires come and are still drinking blood like some sort of monster.
guys oh my god
but consider this: vampires who turn into fruit bats
The only time you love me is when you want to fuck me.
—Jeigo, Fake Boyfriend (via jeigo)